Saturday, May 17, 2025

Report: Little Debbie not so little anymore

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Too much of a sweet thing?

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — McKee Foods, the Adventist-owned parent company of the legendary Little Debbie snack cakes, is being forced to rebrand. The reason? Little Debbie can by no stretch of the imagination be considered little anymore. Recent pictures of the snack cake ambassador that have surfaced on the Internet have convinced company management to preemptively update her portrait on packaging to reflect the toll her diet has taken on her.

“Little Debbie may have helped launch this ultimate Adventist contradiction into snack cake fame years ago, but after having spent her life stuffing her face with the sugar bombs that bear her name, referring to her as ‘little’ is more than a little bit rich,” said Adventist advertising consultant, Grand Mensonge who is leading the branding overhaul.

“We decided that not updating Little Debbie’s likeness would at this point qualify our packaging as the worst false advertising in Adventism,” said Mensonge. “That is an honor that should remain the exclusive domain of your local pastor when he promises to keep this Sabbath’s message short.”

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