Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Breaking: Facebook Allowed Adventist Mom To Spy On Millennial Son

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WASHINGTON, D.C. —- Calls for action against Facebook intensified on Capitol Hill today with the bombshell revelation that an overly-involved Adventist mom has been using the social media platform to spy on her 30-year-old son for years.

Incensed law makers claimed lifelong Adventist Agatha Chismis signed up for a Facebook account five years ago with the sole intention of monitoring her son’s social life and finding him the perfect Adventist girl.

Although some senators seeking action against Facebook admit Chismis has been known to occasionally scroll through to see pictures of her friends’ pets, they claim she almost never posts anything.

Instead she spends a sizable part of her day analyzing her sons most recently posted photos and locations to see if he is making any effort whatsoever to do what he was put on this earth to do: marry and give her grandchildren.

 


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