The “Zion’s Outpost” Adventist Book Center (ABC) has been caught red-handed selling copies of Dan Brown’s controversial bestseller “The Da Vinci Code” – cleverly disguised in plain brown wrappers.
Store manager, Herb Wheatgerm, defended the decision, stating, “Look, we’re just trying to stay financially afloat here at Zion’s Outpost. Do you know how many ‘Christ’s Object Lessons’ we have to sell to keep the lights on?”
The scheme was uncovered when an eagle-eyed customer, Sister Bertha Betterknow, noticed an unusually high number of patrons furtively reading brown-wrapped books in the corner of Zion’s Outpost. “At first, I thought it was a new Ellen White compilation,” Betterknow admitted. “But then I caught a glimpse of the words ‘Louvre’ and ‘cryptex,’ and I knew something was amiss in our little outpost.”
When confronted, Wheatgerm initially claimed the books were a new translation of “The Great Controversy” before finally breaking down and confessing to the clandestine operation at Zion’s Outpost.
The local conference has dispatched a team of literature evangelists to conduct an emergency “spiritual cleansing” of the premises. Meanwhile, sales of “The Da Vinci Code” have skyrocketed among curious Adventists eager to see what all the fuss is about at their beloved Zion’s Outpost.
In related news, Zion’s Outpost’s “What Would Ellen Read?” book club has been temporarily suspended pending further investigation.
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