Adventist potlucks were never designed for your personal wellness journey. They were designed to test your sanctification, your digestive resilience, and your ability to smile politely while someone insists you “try the Special K loaf—it’s my Nana’s recipe from 1954.”
Here’s why your holiday weight-loss goals don’t stand a chance:
1. The Haystack Peer Pressure Is Unreal
You walk in determined to “just have a salad.” Five minutes later, you’re constructing a skyscraper of chips, beans, shredded lettuce, mystery salsa, olives, and something the youth leader swears is “vegan sour cream.” If you refuse, someone will ask if you’re okay.
2. Every Dish Is a Carb in Disguise
Adventist cuisine is 90% wholesome branding and 10% secret carbs.
• “Whole wheat lasagna” → lasagna
• “Healthy casserole” → casserole
• “Gluten steaks” → gluten chunks soaking in gravy so thick it qualifies as cement
3. Sister Marjorie’s Ministry of Second Helpings
She’s 84. She loves Jesus. She will not let you leave her table alive without taking seconds. You can literally be mid-chew, eyes watering, plate still full, and she’ll be sneaking another scoop of her “famous” broccoli-almond surprise onto your plate like a culinary ninja.
4. Dessert Tables Are an Act of Spiritual Warfare
You tell yourself you’ll skip dessert—then you see the table.
Twenty-six pies.
Three trifles.
A banana bread allegedly made for “the children” (it isn’t).
A cheesecake that someone swears is sugar-free (it isn’t).
At this point you are simply choosing which sin is least embarrassing.
5. Adventists Associate Love With Overfeeding
If someone at potluck isn’t overstuffing you, they don’t love you. Our five love languages are: Words of Encouragement, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Gifts, and Tupperware Containers Full of Leftovers You Didn’t Ask For.
⸻
Hopeful Note:
Yes, potlucks are calorie landmines—but they’re also ministry, community, and fellowship. You can enjoy the food without derailing your goals: practice mindful portions, fill half your plate with vegetables, drink water between bites, and savor every taste. Remember, grace extends to both your spiritual and physical health. Your weight-loss journey doesn’t end because of a casserole—it’s about balance, choices, and enjoying God’s blessings responsibly.
Happy holidays, saints. Stay blessed. Stay intentional.
———————
