Predictions for Adventism in 2026

1. Someone will confidently claim that Erton Köhler’s South American origins are “dangerously close” to the origin stories of recent popes—and mean it seriously.
2. The GC will officially announce its relocation to São Paulo, citing “strategic global positioning, better (decaf) coffee, and more sun,” while no one can explain how the logistics will work.
3. The Ellen White Estate will clarify—again—that Reclaiming the Prophet is “not endorsed,” “not condemned,” and somehow now part of everyone’s unofficial reading list.
4. At least one conference will attempt to solve theological polarization by hosting a “listening session,” then panic when people actually talk.
5. The Michigan Conference situation will somehow become more complicated, involving at least one new task force, one resignation “effective immediately,” and one statement that insists nothing is happening.
6. Village Church will be referenced in meetings by people who have never been there, cannot locate it on a map, and are deeply concerned.
7. A pastor will be told they are “too political” for saying something Jesus said verbatim.
8. Someone will propose that the solution to declining youth engagement is a new committee focused on youth engagement.
9. The average age of Adventists will be confirmed as pre–blue zone.
10. Elaborate plans will be drawn to fly thousands of delegates somewhere so they can get even less constructively done than at GC 2025.
11. Loma Linda will create a degree for brave men and women who have no interest in academics but would very much like to marry a doctor.
12. BarelyAdventist will be accused—simultaneously—of being too liberal, too conservative, too cynical, and not critical enough.
13. Potlucks will continue being awesome.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

If you enjoy these painfully honest, weirdly specific Adventist predictions and want to help keep Barely Adventist independent, thoughtful, and unapologetically honest, consider supporting us on Patreon. Every contribution helps us report on the stories other outlets shy away from, produce more creative content, and keep Adventist communities talking—sometimes laughing, sometimes squirming, but always thinking.