UNITED STATES —— Turkeys across the United States have warned Americans of the extreme dangers of traveling for Thanksgiving this year.
“Don’t risk your health or that of your family members unnecessarily by flying or even road tripping this year,” said the president of the Association Of Turkeys For The Abolition Of Thanksgiving, Gobble Dee, in a statement.
“The risks this year are just too great to so much as cross town to have dinner with friends or family,” said Dee, advising people to be thankful “in your hearts” but lay off trying to gather around the traditional Thanksgiving table.
As a Thanksgiving substitute, Dee suggested sitting down with a cold packet of Tofurky and calling it a day.
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I can remember when I must have eaten a piece of Gobble Dee’s relative many years ago. It was a turkey leg on a wooden peg. Made by Worthington Foods. Yummy Yummy. It was very good for my tummy. Since they do not make that stuff anymore, I go for the tofu variety. Not so yummy yummy.