Adventist Church now witnessing to hackers through Samsung TVs

Samsung Ministries
Samsung Ministries
SILVER SPRING, Md. — With the news that hackers can now listen to conversations held near Samsung TVs, the Adventist church has crafted a fresh witnessing strategy.

GC Technology Officer Leesen Ing is actively encouraging churches to take advantage of the “inbuilt listening audience afforded every Adventist with a newish Samsung TV by speaking uplifting messages right into the screen.”

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Ing shared that a rural church in Central Nevada has responded to the Samsung news by creating a new position for their nominating committee to fill. 

Positive that the congregation’s new TV is being hacked, they are searching for someone to sit in front of it each evening between the hours of 6:00 and 6:45 pm reading a few Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories in hopes of ministering to the hackers.

“We’ve always believed people are listening to us,” said the congregation’s self-professed prophecy expert, Pierra Noya, “we just didn’t know how.”

Noya claimed that Samsung devices were the “technological advancement that will enable us to spread the Gospel to every kindred, tribe, and nation right from the comfort of our own homes, or our church foyers.”

Special thanks to Blake Engelhart for the guest post

2 Comments

  1. There will be no hacking at my church. An angel with a flaming sword is circling around the premisis while we stand on the promises. The angel is encamping. Have no fear, the Lord is near. Even the neighbors see the glow each & every Sabbath. Come on down, taste & see, all is good. Feliz Sabado, Amigos

  2. Seymour Butts

    “Positive that the congregation’s new TV is being hacked, they are searching for someone to sit in front of it each evening between the hours of 6:00 and 6:45 pm reading a few Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories in hopes of ministering to the hackers.” Do the hackers speak English? Now that Wikileaks let the cat out of the bag, hackers all over the world have the same programs. Better have someone read the stories in Korean, Russian, etc. just in case.

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