SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The Seventh-day Adventist Church has assembled an international taskforce aimed at identifying and silencing the worst singers in the denomination. The group will create a No Sing List which will contain names of members banned from "blessing" congregations with special music again.
"There's a strange phenomenon where often our very worst singers are completely oblivious to how bad they are and continue to volunteer for special music," said GC Director of Tactful Muzzling, Silen Cio.
She said that the No Sing List can be explained as nothing personal. "Just say that the General Conference has decided that they can't sing as a matter of health and safety. Or if that doesn't work, ask them if they'll consider mime."