GC bans Genesis Creation account for excessive nudity

C'est trop.
C’est trop.
SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference leaders have banned pastors from referencing the Genesis Creation account after determining that the story contained an “unacceptable amount of nudity.”

GC Department of Artistic Interference spokesperson Jotten Teetle said that while the story of Creation was inspiring and beautiful, he had no idea why Adam and Eve had to “prance around Eden in the buff the entire time.”

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Teetle added that if Adam and Eve had only been reached with Adventist teachings on modesty, the story of humanity’s beginnings could be told without so much as a blush, and illustrators wouldn’t always have to hide our first parents behind zebras and flourishing palm groves.


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4 Comments

  1. This dress reform thing has been a problem from the beginning. Look what happened to David & Bathsheba, Noah, Samson, Hosea. Still happens today. Visited some SDA Churches in California in November. It was a total “revealation”. What’s it gonna be like in the New Earth?? Just askin’. See you on the other side.

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