OBG – Slide Show: How to make a haystack

Look what we dug up from the BarelyAdventist archive:)

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  1. Ned Nealy

    Slide # 7 is heresy. You should have specified vegan soy cheese or Daiya casava cheese. Remember, “what you eat is what you are.” You don’t want to turn into a cow, do you? I call for an immediate amendment or retraction of slide 7.

  2. Jack Dimes

    I’ve been an SDA since before I was born, and I have never heard of using refried beans in haystacks. This is nonsense. It is supposed to be whole pinto beans or chili beans. This proves that sevvy is an imposter. He’s not really an SDA, he’s a Mormon or a Mennonite.

  3. Stati Stics

    Four out of five Adventist cooks say this recipe is wrong. Eight out of ten doctors say you better take Beano when eating it. Nine out of ten dentists say you better brush your teeth after eating it.

  4. Donald Tramp

    Haystacks will be the official cuisine of the Tramp Restaurant on top of the Great Wall of Mexico. Remember how I bought Ben Carson’s endorsement by promising him a role in my administration? He’s gonna be the authentic SDA Chief Haystacks Chef.

  5. Larry Muth

    I always heard the bean jingle as follows, and doesn’t use the word fart. Which, however, is a word I do like to use when I can.
    “Beans, Beans the Musical Fruit, the More You Eat, the More You Toot !!”

  6. Selff Rychus

    Ever heard of “salvation by faith”? Actually, it is “salvation by food.” Think of these special Adventist foods:

    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Haystacks
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Special-K Loaf
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Little Debbie’s snack cakes
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Postum
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Carob
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Fri-Chik / Veja-Links / Veggie Burgers

    Eat those, and you will surely go to heaven!‍ ‍ Hezekiah 3:16 = “The dude ate the right food, so he shall inherit eternal life. For salvation is by food, through legalism.”

  7. richard mills

    I, officially recommend this recipe except for the guacamole, fruit pieces and the cilantro. I have a delicate digestive system. No dollar store chips for me, only FRITOS. Use quality paper plates-9″ or larger. New England baked beans is the best. You might resemble a choo choo train comin’ round the bend! Wash it all down with a large ice cold glass of Dad’s Root Beer or Sprite or some carbonated drink to assist in the metabolism. Yes, I are what I eat. Come on down for a haystack treat over the Memorial Day weekend. A woe iz me!

    • Donald Plump

      Hey Richard, I’ll be dropping by for some “tremendous” haystacks when I have a YUGE rally over your way this weekend. Is it OK if I also bring my old publicist, John Miller? You’ve heard Ben Carson say “there are two Donald Trumps,” right? Well, now you know: one of them is The Donald, and one is my alter ego John Miller. Just sayin’.

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