WASHINGTON, D.C. --- According to US police data released today, Seventh-day Adventists are by far the worst traffic offenders on Sabbath mornings.
Many Seventh-day Adventists are late to church and seem to think speeding through red lights and accumulating a slew of other traffic offences will somehow help, said Dame Rosquillas, spokesperson for the Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association.
Rosquillas added that officers across the nation have heard all kinds of excuses from Adventists, ranging from being late to Sabbath School to claims that their church parking lot fills up quickly and they don't want to park on the street.
"Adventists are serious speed demons on Saturday," said Rosquillas. "Hands-down the worst of the worst are their pastors. I have personally been cut off in traffic about 70 times seven times by Adventist ministers too busy rehearsing their sermon to pay attention to the road."
Rosquillas recalled writing one Adventist a speeding ticket recently. "He said he couldn't pay it because it was unlawful to spend cash on Sabbath. I told him not to worry, when he got the ticket in the mail he could take it up in traffic court and see how that flies."