“United in Sexism” slogan approved by massive majority at Annual Council

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — “United in Sexism,” the new slogan for the Seventh-day Adventist Church, was voted in by a massive majority at the denomination’s Annual Council Tuesday.

Due for rollout in 2017, the slogan narrowly beat out a close contender, Total Member Sexism, a version leaders thought sounded too much like the church’s current rallying cry, Total Member Involvement.

Leaders meeting at the church’s Annual Council released a statement warning that the rest of the world was watching closely to see how the church lives out the gospel:

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“If we don’t take a principled stand against recognizing women for anything other than their absolutely vital role in potluck prep, we could be accused of not bowing to centuries of man-made discrimination against women.”

The Pacific Union and Columbia Union have a whole year before the slogan goes live in 2017 to repent and stop treating women fairly as ordained ministers, equal in the Lord’s service, said GC spokesperson Ehn Serio.

“We need unity more than ever and that can only happen when we unite against women, not just with our lips but in our hearts.”

The Pacific Union has already responded to the news by suggesting an alternate church slogan: Haystacks “R” Us.

Special thanks to BarelyAdventist reader J.A. for the help with this story.


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6 Comments

  1. J. ALAN NASH

    Two SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST leaders were chatting in a church foyer. Nearby was a woman dressed in shirt and blue jeans.
    Said woman was pushing a janitor-type mop bucket. The woman kneeled down with a scrubbing brush to clean up a stubborn patch
    of dirt. One of the male SDA leaders says to the other, “Of course women should not be ordained as priests –
    but that shouldn’t stop them from assuming other important roles within the Church.” Sleepy smile

  2. JOE

    GOD GAVE THE JEWS 613 LAWS TO KEEP, AND EVEN SO THEY SCREWED THINGS UP.

    CHRISTIANS ACKNOWLEDGE 10 OF THE 613.

    SDA ARE WORKING THEIR WAY UP CHAIN. 29 SO FAR AND MOST HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL 613..

    • Yo, Joe-Give it a break. Don’t quit while you are ahead. Be optimistic. Be positive. Be upbeat. 10 is better that 29 or 613. Gonna get me some Little Debbies and have a Yom Kippur feast. We have nothing to fear except we don’t go along with the crowd. Woe iz me!!

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