BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Andrews University announced today that the school’s campus will be moving “now that Muhammad Ali no longer lives in Berrien Springs.”
Although the statement said that a new location has not yet been selected, Andrews spokesperson Meesha Waka said that the only reason the university had stayed in the sleepy southwest Michigan town for so long was that Ali had a residence in town and “living next to The Greatest gave us bragging rights entirely unique in Adventism.”
Administration will commence the formal search for a new campus location next week. Waka admitted that the process would be difficult but that university leaders would seek to streamline the hunt spurred on by the boxing great’s own words: “I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and got into bed before the room was dark.”
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