Friday, February 14, 2025

Trump cheers “terrific” Brexit, wants to invest in Newbold College

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Trump's quick Newbold visit before landing in Scotland...
Trump’s quick Newbold visit before landing in Scotland…

BERKSHIRE, England — In a surprise visit hours before arriving in Scotland for the opening of the Trump Turnberry golf resort, Donald Trump toured the campus of Newbold College.

Standing in front of the Newbold College sign, Trump hailed the “terrific” news that Britain had voted to leave the European Union. He said that he was so confident that the Brexit was a “great thing” that he was hoping to invest in Newbold College.

Although the billionaire presumptive Republican nominee for US president had a disastrous experience with higher education with Trump University, he said Newbold College was ideal for investment as it already had a proven, century-old track record, yet was “small enough for there for to be very little red tape when changes need to be made.”

Trump commented that the beautiful grounds of the college, as well as its immaculate natural surroundings, made it an ideal candidate for a Trump investment. “Not only can we make this school fantastic but we can save the golf course next door from closure,” he said.

Newbold administrators were not warned that Trump would be visiting and have not yet commented on his investment offer. However, European Adventism analyst Pas Vrais said the chances of Newbold accepting a Trump investment were very small. “It’ll be a sunny day in England before Newbold partners with Trump.”

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