Pastor John Longwind’s sermon on the virtue of patience was cut short by his increasingly restless congregation at the “Tarry-a-While Seventh-day Adventist Church.”
The sermon, aptly titled “Waiting on the Lord: A Test of Faith,” began promptly at 11:00 AM. However, by 11:50 AM, it became clear that the congregation’s patience was wearing thin.
“I was just getting to the good part about Job’s unwavering patience,” Pastor Longwind explained, “when I noticed people checking their watches more frequently than they were nodding in agreement.”
The situation reached a tipping point at approximately 12:05 PM when Mrs. Edna Quickly, the 85-year-old church organist, began playing softly but persistently. Her rendition of “Softly and Tenderly” gradually increased in volume until it drowned out the pastor’s words.
Deacon Fred Rusher was seen making exaggerated yawning motions and tapping his foot loudly. Meanwhile, the youth group in the back row started a whispered chant of “We shall eat, we shall eat,” to the tune of “We Shall Overcome.”
Church elder Sarah Swiftly finally approached the pulpit and whispered to Pastor Longwind, “I think we’ve all learned enough about patience for one day, don’t you?”
The pastor, recognizing the irony of the situation, quickly wrapped up his sermon. “Well, brothers and sisters,” he said with a wry smile, “it seems we’ve had a practical demonstration of our need for patience. Let’s pray… briefly.”
The benediction was given at 12:10 PM, a full 10 minutes later than usual. As the congregation rushed out, many were overheard saying they couldn’t wait to get to the potluck to discuss the importance of patience.
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