We Don’t Have a Youth Retention Problem—We Have an Adult Honesty Problem

Too often, we present a curated version of belief—one that promises certainty without struggle, answers without ambiguity, and belonging without questions. We smooth over contradictions, downplay painful history, and quietly signal which questions are welcome and which ones will get you labeled as a problem.

Young people notice. And when they do, they don’t rebel—they disengage.

This isn’t a generational failure. It’s an adult one.

We taught them to value truth, then modeled fear when truth got complicated. We told them faith could handle questions, then panicked when they asked the real ones. We insisted God is big enough for doubt, but acted as if the institution wasn’t.

That gap—between what we say and what we practice—is where trust erodes.

Here’s the hopeful part: truth-telling is the strongest evangelism strategy we have.

Young people don’t expect perfection. They expect honesty. They can handle complexity, tension, and unresolved questions. What they can’t handle is being managed. When leaders admit uncertainty, acknowledge harm, and speak plainly about where the church has gotten things wrong, something remarkable happens: credibility returns.

A church brave enough to tell the truth becomes a place where faith can grow up instead of shut down.

We don’t keep young people by controlling the narrative.

We keep them by telling the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable.

The future of Adventism doesn’t depend on better messaging. It depends on adults courageous enough to be honest.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

If this kind of honest, thoughtful, occasionally uncomfortable Adventist writing matters to you, consider supporting BarelyAdventist on Patreon. Your support helps keep the lights on, the satire sharp, and the truth unfiltered—so we can keep saying the quiet parts out loud.