Sunday, February 15, 2026

ABC Stores Don’t Know What to Do With Leftover Carob

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February 15th: chocolate’s gone, hearts are broken, and ABC stores are buried under a small mountain of carob. Carob hearts. Carob-covered raisins. Carob bars pretending to be chocolate. Enough to make a dentist sigh and a kid ask, “Is this punishment?”

Nobody wanted them. Couples politely smiled, children politely frowned, and somewhere in a warehouse, pallets of carob whispered to each other, “We will not be forgotten… maybe.”

ABC’s solution? Bundle them with The Great Controversy, toss them in a clearance bin, or start a loyalty program: “Collect 10 carob hearts and get one free wedge of vegan cheese (tastes like candle)!” Because if disappointment can’t be sweet, at least it can be educational… and aromatic.


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