Monday, September 29, 2025

Yelp claims Dwight Nelson’s jokes are funnier by second service

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Definitely a second service moment...
Definitely a second service moment…

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Ratings and reviews company Yelp has begun allowing parishioners to grade their ministers on their performance in the pulpit. The overall consensus in Berrien Springs, is that Andrews University-based Dr. Dwight Nelson is way better at telling jokes by second service.

Although the well-known pastor received a 4.5 out of 5 overall rating, most reviewers warned early birds that Nelson was not at his wittiest for the early Sabbath morning first service at Pioneer Memorial Church.

“I think he’s still a little sleepy at 9:00 in the morning and that’s why he kind of phones in some of his jokes,” said one reviewer.

Other theories floated by ultra-committed PMC regulars include the idea that Nelson uses the first service as a dry run for the bigger college student crowd at second service that refuses to wake up any earlier than absolutely necessary:

“I’ve heard two very different versions of the same joke just by staying for both services,” says PMC regular and Yelp reviewer, Jay Nandrews. “If a joke doesn’t work in first service, Pastor Dwight makes sure he tweaks it the second time around. A few times when a quip totally falls flat for the first crowd he just gives up on it and leaves it out for the second.”

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