Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Students protest as PUC fires faculty, hires robots

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ANGWIN, Calif. — Student protestors marched across the campus of Pacific Union College yesterday as the school’s administration announced the termination of all current faculty in favor of “fully-compliant” robots.

Amidst growing tensions between faculty and administration over the issue of academic freedom, the school year has already witnessed several high-profile faculty resignations in the Department of Psychology and Social Work.

The annoucement that all remaining faculty would be terminated, while not seen as a huge surprise, persuaded students to protest with STAND WITH PUC signs, demanding an explanation from administration.

Administration promised and delivered on a town hall meeting last night explaining the capabilities of what is described as a carefully vetted and approved crop of faculty robots, guaranteed never to elevate academic freedom or whole-person growth above sanctioned comfort zones.

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