DALLAS, Texas --- Southwest Airlines has announced the acquisition of Southwestern Adventist University in a bid to rebrand the school as "THE Low Fare College Ride."
The airline's first venture into the education sector is seen as a gamble to many, but Southwest Airlines said that according to due diligence research, nothing associated with Seventh-day Adventism has the slightest tie to gambling.
"Plus, Southwestern's name made them sound like we already owned them, so it was worth the risk," said spokesperson Steel Lovefield.
He added that if quality, affordable college education matters to America, it matters to Southwest, and that it was time for the highly successfully airline to spread its wings and revolutionize other sectors.
Southwestern's Adventist identity was welcomed aboard as well. "We think it's just plain smart for Southwestern to celebrate its religious heritage," insisted Lovefield.
He said that personal faith was important to Southwest: "Why else did we brand ourselves as 'The Somebody Else Up There Who Loves You?'"