Trump cheers “terrific” Brexit, wants to invest in Newbold College

Trump's quick Newbold visit before landing in Scotland...
Trump’s quick Newbold visit before landing in Scotland…
BERKSHIRE, England — In a surprise visit hours before arriving in Scotland for the opening of the Trump Turnberry golf resort, Donald Trump toured the campus of Newbold College.

Standing in front of the Newbold College sign, Trump hailed the “terrific” news that Britain had voted to leave the European Union. He said that he was so confident that the Brexit was a “great thing” that he was hoping to invest in Newbold College.

All kidding aside, click to learn more about Union College

Although the billionaire presumptive Republican nominee for US president had a disastrous experience with higher education with Trump University, he said Newbold College was ideal for investment as it already had a proven, century-old track record, yet was “small enough for there for to be very little red tape when changes need to be made.”

Trump commented that the beautiful grounds of the college, as well as its immaculate natural surroundings, made it an ideal candidate for a Trump investment. “Not only can we make this school fantastic but we can save the golf course next door from closure,” he said.

Newbold administrators were not warned that Trump would be visiting and have not yet commented on his investment offer. However, European Adventism analyst Pas Vrais said the chances of Newbold accepting a Trump investment were very small. “It’ll be a sunny day in England before Newbold partners with Trump.”

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  1. Winston Churchstill

    Don’t listen to the naysayers, Donald. “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” Well, at least that’s usually what it means.

  2. E. Mary Tudor

    BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump announced today, on the steps of Parliament, that his trip to Scotland was actually a covert mission to recruit Queen Elizabeth II as his vice-presidential running mate. Word on the street is that she replied, “Get lost!”

  3. richard mills

    When Carson was running against Trump awhile back, Trump said he did not know enough about Adventism. Did someone all of a sudden give him Bible Studies to bring him up to speed? “Money talks. Everybody else walks”, Trumpism # 1844.

    • millie richards

      It wasn’t Bible studies. He still doesn’t know anything in the Bible except “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth”–and he thinks that is in “Two Corinthians.” As Sen. Elizabeth Warren said, Trump is interested only in himself and money.

  4. richard mills

    The Gospel according to Trump-“Bring ye all the money I can get my hands on into the Trump Towers and I will make you as rich as King Solomon and maybe a bit wiser.”

    • Donald Tramp

      If I win, you’ll love me, Lindy. You won’t need God’s help. Two Corinthians says God helps those who help themselves. It will be tremendous! I will make America great again by building the Great Wall of Mexico. It will be YUGE!!!
      ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ Sincerely,
      Donald Tramp
      Donald Dump
      Donald Dumpster
      Donald Duck Plump

    • Vladimir Pukin'


  5. Kubarii

    Love of money is the root of all evil..silver and gold have i none but i have Jesus and in His name there’s power as the Bible reads. Please, experience God’s power in your life, it is the only way to go, and it works wonders.

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