COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In a completely unprecedented innovation, chicken sandwich chain Chick-fil-A has announced plans to open its very first vegetarian restaurant on the campus of Southern Adventist University.
Newly-appointed Chick-fil-A Veggie Division spokesperson Noes Pollo said the chain decided to product-test its vegetarian line at Southern because of Collegedale’s “well-documented weakness for fake chicken.”
Pollo said that Chick-fil-A market researchers had never come across a community that took to frying, barbecuing and even eating raw varieties of vegetarian chicken with as much enthusiasm.
“It borders on religious devotion,” said Pollo, who added that the chain had expansion plans ready in case the Southern experiment is a success.
“If this works we will be expanding to another town I’ve never heard of,” said Pollo.
“Berrien Springs.”
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Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists who want to change that status wanted.
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