PINE SPRINGS CAMP – After surviving just one night of a three-night Adventurer camp, local counselor Sam “Soggy” Shepherd is beginning to question whether the millions he’s being paid are truly worth the exhaustion.
The trouble began around 4:12 AM, when a wide-eyed eight-year-old tapped on Shepherd’s shoulder to announce an urgent bathroom emergency. “In that moment, I seriously considered my life choices,” Shepherd confessed, rubbing the bags under his eyes. “I mean, what’s a guy gotta do to get some sleep around here? Oh right, volunteer for Adventurers.”
Despite the glamorous paycheck, Shepherd mused that his wanting to give back to the system of campouts, praise songs and s’mores that raised him might not be enough to sustain him through another sleepless night. “I’m not sure which is worse: endlessly having to beg these children to keep quiet and go to sleep or the thought of having to explain why breakfast is late to a dozen 5-year-olds at 7 AM.”
Other counselors expressed solidarity with Shepherd’s plight, sharing tales of pre-dawn wake-up calls and never-ending questions about bugs and campfire songs. “It’s a good thing we’re only having to do this once,” quipped fellow counselor, Jane “Sleep-Deprived” Doe. “Oh wait my kid is just a Busy Bee.”
As the sun rose on day two, Shepherd braced himself for another 24 hours of adventure. “Let’s just say I’ll be dreaming of my million-dollar bonus tonight,” he mumbled, clutching his Roma cup like a lifeline. “If only I could find a few minutes to actually sleep.”
Stay tuned to see if Shepherd survives the next two nights or if he succumbs to the call of a real-paying job.
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