In an inspired leap forward for doctrinal formation, the General Conference Sabbath School Department has announced the launch of its “Remnant Coloring Book,” designed for ages 3 and up. The department describes the book as “the perfect tool for cultivating early remnant awareness and fine motor skills, all within the boundaries of the straight and narrow.”
Each page features iconic Adventist scenes-Three Angels’ Messages, Daniel’s vegetarian buffet, and a special “Identify the Apostate” matching game-accompanied by the gentle but firm reminder: “Stay inside the lines or risk spiritual confusion and possible apostasy.” Parents are encouraged to monitor coloring sessions for any signs of creative deviation, such as coloring the little horn in friendly pastels.
The book includes a “Humility Meter” on every page, where children can self-assess their modesty after each coloring session. Bonus stickers are awarded for accurate prophetic symbolism and for using only appropriately subdued hues.
Sabbath School teachers are already hailing the coloring book as “the most effective compliance tool since the felt board,” while the GC’s Children’s Ministries Committee praised its “uncompromising boundaries and clear warnings.” Rumor has it a follow-up “28 Fundamentals Origami Kit” is in development, with folding instructions that double as a test of doctrinal accuracy.
As the Sabbath School Department’s press release put it: “We want every child to know that while grace is free, coloring outside the lines comes with consequences.”
