In a historic first, the quiet genius behind the sanctuary soundboard has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for solving a problem that has plagued your congregation for decades: the mysterious, high-pitched feedback that erupts every time someone turns on the microphone.
“I tried everything,” said one longtime churchgoer. “New speakers, new cords, even moving the pulpit three feet to the left. Nothing worked. And then he figured it out. Peace has finally returned.”
The AV hero’s method? “Honestly… I just traced the cable from the speaker back to the microphone and realized it was… unplugged wrong,” he confessed modestly.
Church members are planning a celebratory potluck in his honor, though there is debate over whether Fritos or tortilla chips should be served—because even at a Nobel level, Adventists will not compromise on chips.
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