Local Adventist date-setter Brother Marvin has reportedly taken prophecy “research” to the next level by sending Jesus a Google Calendar invite for the Second Coming — complete with a Zoom link, potluck schedule, and suggested hymn lineup.
Sources say Jesus has not yet accepted the invite, though eyewitnesses claim it briefly showed as “Maybe — checking with the Father.”
The invite included:
- Title: “Second Coming (Final FINAL Version)”
- Time: “This Sabbath afternoon — or next? Flexible.”
- Description: “Let me know if clouds are still the preferred transportation.”
- Guests: Jesus, Gabriel, 144,000 (optional), Church Clerk (mandatory)
Experts confirm this is the 14th invite Marvin has sent this month, each marked as “Urgent,” though heaven has reportedly set his email to spam for “prophetic enthusiasm.”
Heavenly sources refuse to comment, but an anonymous angel told reporters:
“Look… nobody knows the day or the hour. Especially not Marvin.”
———————————
If this message resonated with you, you can support BarelyAdventist in a way that works best for you and keep these conversations alive. For readers who love deep dives and longform essays, Patreon gives early access to content crafted for superfans: patreon.com/barelyadventist. If you just want to see the bulk of our posts first — memes, short posts, and behind-the-scenes content — becoming a Facebook Subscriber gives you front-row access: Subscribe on Facebook. Or, if you prefer, you can support us directly without subscribing via PayPal: tinyurl.com/2kux82en. Every bit of support helps keep BarelyAdventist creating content that sparks conversation, challenges thinking, and keeps our community growing.
And for those wanting to stay informed on current Adventist events, analysis, and opinion, head over to Adventist Today.
