In a bold move toward administrative efficiency, a major Adventist college has officially replaced its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion officer with a single suggestion box, calling it a “more streamlined approach to diversity.”
The administration was quick to clarify that the decision was not a General Conference directive. “Now we can listen to literally everyone without actually speaking to them,” said the college president, gesturing toward the box with visible relief.
Faculty were reportedly confused but compliant, noting that paper forms could never replace actual dialogue—yet apparently still might. Campus leaders insisted the box would represent “the most diverse thing here, because anyone can use it,” adding that the new system would foster a “culture of listening,” particularly once they figure out how to process the suggestions, if ever.
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