Last Sabbath, Oakville SDA’s Pastor Mike showed up to deliver his sermon sporting a full head of hair that appeared virtually overnight. While the pastor insists it’s all natural, church members are struggling to keep straight faces during his impassioned preaching on the state of the dead.
“Look, we love Pastor Mike, but that thing on his head is about as real as Sunday sacredness,” says long-time church member Betty Wilson, 72. “I’ve seen more convincing hair on the felt boards in the children’s Sabbath School.”
Even the Pathfinders have taken notice. Sixteen-year-old Jake Thompson remarked, “It’s like he’s wearing a small woodland creature. I’m pretty sure I saw it move during intercessory prayer.”
When gently confronted about his sudden follicular fortune, Pastor Mike simply smiled and said, “Ellen White wrote about the importance of health reform. Perhaps this is just a side effect of my improved diet?”
His wife, Linda, was overheard muttering, “I told him to just embrace the bald look like Doug Batchelor.”
As news of the follicular fiasco spreads, neighboring churches are reporting an influx of Oakville refugees seeking congregations with more honest hairlines.
SPONSORED LINKS Follow @BarelyAdventist .
SPONSORED LINKS Follow @BarelyAdventist .
