
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Loma Linda city public health authorities have announced the likely shutdown of Loma Linda University Church after discovering that the baptismal tank water had not been changed in recent history.
City Public Health spokesperson Tirede LaCadena said authorities were alerted to the “dangerous state” of the baptismal pool by a number of recently-baptized members of the church who had expressed fear of “more than just the metaphorical death to sin.”
LLUC responded to claims by releasing a statement that said the church had merely been trying to be sensitive to ongoing water shortages in California and that “there is no clear theological reason to change the water after every single baptism, provided there is no major debris floating in the pool and water temperatures are raised to appropriate temperatures on baptism Sabbaths.”
LaCadena said that regardless of the “theological murkiness” surrounding the issue, there remained “real public health concerns about humans being dunked in a Petri dish pool of occasionally used water left festering for extended periods of time.”
He added the shutdown of the church would be final unless LLUC took immediate action to address what “could easily turn into a watery grave.”
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