Loma Linda University Church to Install Self-Shaking Pews to Wake Snoozing Members

Loma Linda, CA, May 30, 2024 – In a pioneering move to enhance the worship experience, Loma Linda University Church is excited to announce the installation of self-shaking church pews. This innovative Read more […]

Blockbuster Sequel To Feature Barbie Training For Medical Mission at Loma Linda

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Following the roaring success of her summer blockbuster hit, studio bosses promise Barbie will soon back with a whole new adventure of medical mission at the Inland Empire’s Read more […]

PAW Patrol: The Movie To Be Set In Loma Linda

Everyone’s favorite pups will not be saving lives in their hometown of Adventure Bay in PAW Patrol: The Movie. The hotly-anticipated feature-length production is instead set in California’s Read more […]

Biden Grills Harris On Pathfinder Pledge & Law Ahead Of Loma Linda Campaign Stop

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Within hours of announcing California Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate, Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden cleared his schedule to test his VP on what he Read more […]

Loma Linda Church Greeters Trade Handshakes For Fist Bumps To Fight Coronavirus

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Adventist churches in the Loma Linda area have taken it upon themselves to set a good example during the coronavirus outbreak. Instead of shaking members’ hands to wish Read more […]

Big Franks declared “unclean veggie meat” due to advent of Simple Franks

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Adventists around the world have been called to abandon the “unclean veggie meat” in Big Franks now that a healthier, less processed Loma Linda veggie hot dog has arrived Read more […]

Loma Linda residents furious as area code changes to (666)

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Livid Loma Linda residents have taken to the streets of the typically tranquil city in Southern California’s San Bernardino County. The cause for the uproar: news that the Read more […]

Loma Linda University Church faces shutdown for not changing baptismal water

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Loma Linda city public health authorities have announced the likely shutdown of Loma Linda University Church after discovering that the baptismal tank water had not been Read more […]

Justin Bieber to lead praise at Loma Linda Academy Week of Prayer

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Openly Christian heartthrob and recording artist Justin Bieber has accepted an invitation to be the praise leader for Loma Linda Academy’s Week of Prayer later this school Read more […]