Tag:
Adventists
Baptism
Trump to ban Adventists from outsourcing baptisms to other countries
NEW YORK, N.Y. --- In a rare policy speech this morning, presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump vowed to stop the Seventh-day Adventist Church from...
Adventist Prophesy
General Conference on global warming: it’s all going to burn anyway
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Environmentally-conscious Adventists were shocked today as the General Conference released a statement on global warming stating that "environmental conservation and...
Adventist Culture
Adventists rush to erect pagan moments in church before Christmas
Adventist congregations across America are working flat out recruiting their best volunteers to erect huge monuments to paganism before the biggest deadline on the...
Adventist Food
Adventists flee to wilderness with trailer of FriChik, forget can opener
BITTERROOT MOUNTAINS, Mont. --- A band of Adventists that fled to the Bitterroots range of the Rockies with a giant haul of FriChik has,...
Coffee
General Conference pays for Alamodome Starbucks employees’ vacation
SAN ANTONIO, Texas --- Employees of the Alamodome Starbucks stores are ecstatic over an agreement made with the Seventh-day Adventist Church. During the General...