GC: World may end in 2020 if Kanye wins presidency

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In rare commentary on political matters, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has issued an emergency statement saying that "the world may end in 2020 if Kanye Read more [...]
Posted in Adventist Culture | 19 Comments

Jaime Jorge to perform at tonight’s MTV Video Music Awards

LOS ANGELES, Calif. --- Miley Cyrus, the risk-embracing host of this year's MTV Video Music Awards has announced that as she is in charge of tonight's proceedings, she will be "taking a wrecking Read more [...]
Posted in Adventist Celebrities | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Emotional Doug Batchelor reunites with long-lost twin brother

GRANITE BAY, Calif. --- In Doug Batchelor news completely unrelated to the papacy, Florida or women's ordination, the much-discussed Seventh-day Adventist Evangelist announced an emotional reunion Read more [...]
Posted in Doug Batchelor | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

Kylie Jenner enrolls at La Sierra University

CALABASAS, Calif. --- Perhaps the most famous 18-year-old in the world, Los Angeles native Kylie Jenner graduated with her high school diploma this summer and has enrolled as a business management Read more [...]
Posted in La Sierra University | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

Ted Wilson’s email scrutinized amid allegations he exposed haystacks secrets

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The Seventh-day Adventist World Headquarters was completely aflutter today at the news that General Conference President Ted Wilson could face disciplinary action for questionable Read more [...]
Posted in Haystacks, Ted Wilson | Tagged , , , , , | 22 Comments

Report: Little Debbie not so little anymore

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. --- McKee Foods, the Adventist-owned parent company of the legendary Little Debbie snack cakes, is being forced to rebrand. The reason? Little Debbie can by no stretch of the Read more [...]
Posted in Adventist Food, Health Message, Little Debbie's | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

Study: Adventist moms most likely to have found you the perfect date

Washington, D.C. --- Researchers at the National Institute for Social Science have concluded a ten year study into romantic matchmaking by identifying the demographic most likely to have found Read more [...]
Posted in Adventist Education, Adventist Parents, Courtship, Dating | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments