SILVER SPRING, Md. – General Conference leaders along with their regional counterparts around the world have released a joint statement expressing disappointment at how little of a fight they Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. – Fred Bootherson has lawyered up. He was horrified last Friday when, as a matter of due diligence, he cross-referenced the sunset time forecast on his Feersi sunset time Read more […]
RIVERSIDE, Calif. – La Sierra University theology major, Joe Sayido, has spent much of the New Year in earnest prayer for a return to favorable pastor’s wife hunting conditions. At the top Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Adventist former neurosurgeon and current Trump cabinet member, Ben Carson, has never been one to rest on his laurels. Carson has announced that when his term as US Secretary Read more […]
LONDON, UK – In response to political pressure to sort out his hair, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has committed to taking radical action in 2021. Standing at a podium, with hair completely Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD – A bombshell report from the International Trade Commission (ITC) today revealed there basically is no return policy on goats secured through the ADRA catalog. Although the Read more […]
Chattanooga, Tenn. – Dying to rip open a box of Little Debbie Nutty Buddy treats, local Pathfinder counselor Patch Aittems paused briefly to say grace, asking for the sugar bomb to nourish and Read more […]
NORTH POLE: Santa Claus spent today fuming about Adventist efforts to persuade kids he doesn’t exist. “It’s hard enough to deliver presents with COVID complicating everything,” Santa Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — This week, the General Conference Youth Department offered Tom Cruise the role of global Pathfinder drill sergeant after his scathing rebuke of staff breaking COVID-distancing Read more […]
Chatty, Mich. — Longwind SDA has at least one thing to celebrate despite the COVID craziness that has defined the last several months. The Guinness World Record organization notified the Read more […]
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