South England Conference Delegates Ace Surprise Quiz On Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’

In a daring departure from the traditional agenda of hymn-singing, lining up to argue at mics and dramatically sending newly-recommended leadership names back to committee, organizers of this weekend’s Read more […]

Loma Linda Med Student Prays for Second Coming Before He Has To Pay Back School Loans

Loma Linda, Calif. – In a stunning display of faith and fiscal desperation, a local medical student at Loma Linda University, John Stethoscope, has been caught on camera fervently praying for Read more […]

Vatican Buys Up Rights To ‘The Great Controversy’

In a surprise move for the generally uneventful world of Adventist publishing, the Vatican has announced that it has snapped up worldwide publishing rights to Ellen White classic The Great Controversy. Explaining Read more […]

Congregation Wishes Overconfident Pastor Would Go Back to Using Sermon Notes

In an annoying display of pastoral self-assuredness, Pastor William “Windy” Williams of the Free Grace Adventist Church has proudly announced that he no longer needs to rely on sermon notes. While Read more […]

Sub-3-Hour Marathon Added To Baptismal Requirements

Those wishing to be baptized anytime after next Sabbath had better commit to a serious training regimen because the requirements of baptismal candidates are about to get exponentially harder. “Anyone Read more […]

Youth Pastor Accuses Senior Pastor of Sermon Illustration Theft

Youth pastor Steven Green has come forward with claims that his senior pastor, Bear Grizzle has been shamelessly swiping his carefully crafted sermon illustrations for his own sermons. Sources Read more […]

Parents That ‘Can’t Afford’ Adventist Schooling For Kids Drive Off In BMW

A pair of parents who’ve been singing the “we can’t afford Adventist schooling” tune for years, were observed cruising away from church last Saturday in a sleek, brand new BMW, their new wheels Read more […]

Publishing Houses Furiously Bidding on Billion-Copy “Great Controversy” Print Job

Publishing houses across the Adventist world have thrown their hats into the ring to secure the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to print a billion copies of Ellen White classic “The Great Controversy”. Read more […]