Dwight Nelson calls Donald Trump’s hair/presidential announcement “sign of the times”


BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dr. Dwight K Nelson launched a scathing rebuke of real estate and entertainment mogul Donald Trump’s presidential campaign announcement this morning. The Andrews University-based Adventist evangelist said that he doesn’t know “what trumps what as a sign of the times: the man’s hair or his presidential announcement.”

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Although Nelson admitted that his own (facial) hair has occasionally been a cause for concern over the years, he called Donald Trump’s hair “a glaring assault on the aesthetic sensibilities of hard-working Americans.” Nelson added that when hair like Trump’s makes it into the presidential race, “you know the end is near.”

“As Adventists we have a tendency to shy away from national politics,” said Nelson. “But I will not hesitate to call a spade a spade, a sin a sin and, more relevantly, bad hair for what it truly is.”

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Nelson expanded his critique of Trump’s presidential announcement past the mogul’s hair. “When a man best known for casinos, beauty pageants and firing people on ‘The Apprentice’ declares his presidential candidacy in the most powerful country on earth, you know we are living on borrowed time. I fear for America.”

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  1. LOL. This is comical – one of the best on this site. But you forgot to mention how Dr. Dwight Nelson is also concerned about the questionable theology of the voices out there who oppose God’s calling women to ministry.

    Beyond the question of whether the church should recognize the ordination that God has placed on women pastors, here is a humorous list of 10 Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained: https://ordinationFacts.wordpress.com/reasons/
    Enjoy. :)

  2. My favorite lines are: “Nelson added that when hair like Trump’s makes it into the presidential race, ‘you know the end is near!'” and “I will not hesitate to call a spade a spade and . . . bad hair for what it truly is.” :) You certainly have a way with words, sevvy!

  3. I predict that Donald Trump will convince Ben Carson and Ted Cruz to be his Apprentices. Imagine what a circus that would be. Cruz, who was a lawyer, could defend Trump from lawsuits for Infliction of Emotional Distress upon victims who are outraged by seeing his bad hair. If necessary, Ben Carson, who is quite handy with scissors, could also give Trump a haircut.

    Well, what will really happen is that Trump will “take a haircut” financially. He’s just going to throw away his hard-earned (?) cash to finance a campaign that can’t possibly win. His campaign is just an expensive publicity stunt. And the bad hair is on purpose–to spark publicity. I guess it worked. . . .

  4. Donald Trump’s motto is “Make America Great Again.” For The Donald, the First step in that process would be to visit a barber. Second step would be to visit Pioneer Memorial Church and listen to sermons by Dwight Nelson. Third step would be to visit the voting booth and vote for somebody else–anybody else besides himself. Maybe Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio. Maybe even Hillary Clinton.

  5. Judging by his poor taste in hairstyles, I don’t trust Trump to correctly perform the most important job of the President: to wisely select Supreme Court justices.

    The 2016 Presidential Election will be unlike anything seen in recent times. It may well be the most important election since 1860, for one very simple reason: the 45th President could potentially select up to four new Supreme Court Justices to replace the aging Ruth Bader Ginsburg (81), Antonin Scalia (79), Anthony Kennedy (78) and Stephen Breyer (76) – almost half of the nine-person lineup of the United States Supreme Court.

    The justices are appointed for life and have a historical average 25-year tenure. These lifetime appointments will directly shape the political, ideological, and socioeconomic direction of America for the next three decades, and indirectly thereafter. This is what’s at stake here, folks.

  6. Nettie Wickstrom

    Are you serious?
    Here is a self made Billioniare and the ONLY thing mentioned about him is how awful his HAIR is?
    Surely as CHRISTIANS you know the verse that GOD ain’t looking at OUTWARD APPEARENCE!
    Don’t think I need to read any more!

  7. Nettie and Cari, did you read the disclaimer on this site’s “About” page? (“BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog on Adventist culture and issues.”)

    “Please note that this story, like others on this site, is a joke. All characters and incidents appearing in this ‘report’ are fictitious or parodied. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead (or events, past or future) is purely coincidental and/or is solely for purposes of parody, satire, irony, caricature, or comedy. If you do not find these stories funny, please see your doctor to check your sense of humor (or maybe he should check your pulse). After all, laughter is the best medicine.”

    • Nettie

      elizabeth Wilson
      Recommending me to see a doctor to be checked eh? quite an insulting human being you seem to be…. Or even bordering on bullying others… Who exactly do you think that you are?


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