Everybody already knew Stripples were good but nobody knew just how good they were for you until today. According to a recent study in the Journal Of Self-Accredited Researchers, scientists with a thing for processed vegan brunches have discovered a direct link between the consumption of Stripples and going to heaven. “The evidence is deliciously clear,” said lead researcher, Samz Tziken. “If wolfed down on a daily basis, Stripples virtually guarantee you will stroll effortlessly through the Pearly Gates.” Tziken said that a massive study of Stripples enthusiasts cross-referenced with mysteriously-procured reservation records for a vegan subdivision in heaven provided “indisputable evidence that Stripples, especially when fried extra crispy, were a personal favorite of St. Peter himself.”
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