BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich—The Communication Department at Andrews University has confirmed that, upon entering Heaven, everyone will appear as their favorite Instagram filter.
“Our extensive research into eschatological aesthetics has finally paid off,” declared Dr. I. M. Filter of the Communication Department. “We are thrilled to announce that our findings indicate that the heavenly realm fully realizes Instagram filters, ensuring everyone looks their absolute best for eternity.”
The study, whimsically titled “Eternal Selfie: The Theological Implications of Digital Beautification,” was conducted over several semesters, combining theological research with cutting-edge social media analysis.
“Imagine basking in the divine glow of Clarendon or embracing the timeless sophistication of Ludwig,” explained Dr. Filter. “In Heaven, your spiritual essence can be perfectly accentuated with just the right touch of digital flair.”
Despite some raised eyebrows from the theological department, most reactions have been positive. “It’s a fascinating integration of modern culture with eternal truths,” commented Dr. Celestia Glimmer, professor of Contemporary Theology. “Heaven is, after all, about eternal joy and perfection. And what could be more unrealistically perfect than your current Insta filter?”
In other news, the AU Communication Department revealed that in addition to looking your best, the real miracle is that the heavenly Wi-Fi will finally let you upload without a single glitch. Because let’s face it, what’s paradise without perfect connectivity? #BlessedAndConnected
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