The General Conference of has announced an emergency distribution of “The Great Controversy” in response to the devastating Los Angeles wildfires.
“We believe that in these trying times, what the people of Los Angeles need most is spiritual nourishment. And what better way to provide that than with 130,000 copies of ‘The Great Controversy’ – one for each evacuee?” read a press release announcing the emergency “aid.”
The initiative, dubbed “Operation Fireproof Faith,” will see volunteers in flame-retardant suits distributing the books to evacuation centers, firefighters, and even dropping them by drone into hard-to-reach areas.
“We considered sending bottled water,” said the statement, “but then we realized that quenching spiritual thirst is just as important as physical hydration.”
Local Adventist churches are reportedly preparing for an influx of new members, with one pastor overheard saying, “Nothing brings people to church quite like a good apocalypse.”
As the distribution effort continues, some evacuees have reported using the weighty tomes to block embers or as makeshift pillows in evacuation centers. One grateful recipient commented, “I always knew the church would have my back in times of crisis. I just didn’t expect it to be so… literal.”
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