1. The “Hit Them With a Verse Out of Nowhere”
“Hey, nice weather! By the way, Revelation 22:17…”
Friendship: 0, Confusion: 100.
2. The Overly-Specific Prophecy Drop
“I just had a dream God showed me exactly what your sin is…”
Guaranteed to make someone back away slowly.
3. The “Do You Go to Church?” Trap Question
It’s subtle at first: small talk about hobbies… then suddenly, “So… you go to church, right?” Cue awkward silence.
4. The ‘You’re Practically Lost’ Declaration
“I’m not judging, but unless you accept Jesus…”
Nothing says “fun at parties” like unsolicited eternal destiny lectures.
5. The Pamphlet Ambush
Handing someone a 20-page tract while they’re holding their coffee. Bonus points if it’s sticky from syrup.
6. The “I Prayed for You” Confession
“I prayed for you last night!”
The listener’s brain: Uh… thanks? Should I pray back?
7. The Group Witnessing Freeze
Showing up to someone’s doorstep with three friends, all holding pamphlets, all staring silently… and no one knows what to say.
8. The Social Media Sermon Drop
“Have you accepted Jesus?” in a comment thread under a dog video. Bold move.
9. The Cultural Misfire
Trying to use a cultural event—like Diwali or Halloween—as a “gateway to Christ” without understanding it. Oops.
❤️ Love BarelyAdventist? Support us on Patreon for as little as $1 per month
