Friday, January 2, 2026

Adventist New Year’s Resolutions – 2026 Edition

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  • Figure out a way not to be the Deacon on Call anymore.
  • Find a date who’s Adventist and doesn’t move their lips while reading.
  • Resist Little Debbies like your salvation depends on it.
  • Get the Pathfinders to actually wear their scarves without bribery.
  • Stop being so obvious scrolling your phone during the sermon.
  • Have the most popular dish, potluck.
  • Actually study the Sabbath School lesson this year.
  • Get past Genesis without quietly giving up.
  • Attend prayer meeting and actually stay awake for more than five minutes.
  • Invite someone new to church without panicking mid-sentence.
  • Learn to say no to emergency requests without feeling guilty.
  • Give real feedback on the sermon instead of just saying “Great sermon, Pastor.”
  • Develop the courage to suggest the pastor reduces his sermon length by 50%.

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