“Ghostbusters” producers sue Adventist Church for ghost-denying State of the Dead doctrine

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Producers of the new Columbia Pictures cinematic release Ghostbusters have filed a lawsuit against the Seventh-day Adventist Church claiming that it promotes doctrines Read more […]

GC allows Adventists to see ‘nature video’ Finding Dory in theaters

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a special dispensation for fans desperate to see Pixar’s new release, Finding Dory, General Conference officials have opted to allow Seventh-day Adventists to see the Read more […]

GC: “I will survive” disco anthem contradicts state of the dead

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Seventh-day Adventists around the world have been advised by General Conference leaders that the popular disco anthem “I Will Survive” contradicts church teachings regarding Read more […]

Adventist Church: You can’t pray for Game of Thrones characters

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church have released a statement reminding church members that praying for Game of Thrones characters is “a completely fruitless exercise.” General Read more […]

Adventist filmmakers threaten to boycott Oscars after getting no nominations. Ever.

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Seventh-day Adventist filmmakers have announced their plans to boycott the Feb 26, 2016 Oscars Ceremony. The filmmakers explained that the decision not to attend the Academy Read more […]

“Straight Outta Compton” inspires Heritage Singers “Straight Outta Placerville” movie

PLACERVILLE, Calif. — The huge box office success of biographical drama Straight Outta Compton chronicling the rise and fall of Compton, California hip-hop group N.W.A. has inspired Seventh-day Read more […]

Adventist evangelist: Nobody is going anywhere until one more responds to altar call

BREAKING NEWS Marietta, Ga. — Today’s evangelistic campaign crowd in downtown Marietta, Ga. has been notified that everyone will be staying put until at least one more brave soul comes up Read more […]

Adventist pastor fired for “may the force be with you” benediction

BURBANK, Calif. — There’s a fresh job vacancy at North Burbank Seventh-day Adventist Church after avid Star Wars fanboy and former Senior Pastor Laffa Mignit ended this weekend’s Sabbath benediction Read more […]