Saturday, May 17, 2025

Biblical Research Institute

“Cats” So Bad GC Tried To Cancel It

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The General Conference announced today that it did its "honest part" to keep box office bomb Cats from being shown in theaters. A delegation from the Adventist...

Report: BRI Does Nothing But Play BibleOpoly All Day

    BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. --- A compliance committee investigation into the daily activities of the Biblical Research Institute staff has revealed that the team...

Adventist found guilty of Sabbath swimming after falling in pool

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The Adventist Supreme Court has found a member guilty of Sabbath swimming despite what he claims was an entirely accidental...

General Conference declares monopoly on truth

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In an effort to "clear a few things up and establish unity once and for all", the General Conference headquarters...

‘The Sound of Music’ officially approved for Sabbath viewing

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- "This is a day or rejoicing for Adventist Sound of Music fans around the world," said Sabbath Permissions Advocate, Elaine...