North American Division
New Union Created for Anti-Vaxxers: NAD Announces PureBlood Union Conference
COLUMBIA, Md. – In a move that has raised eyebrows and lowered vaccination rates, the North American Division (NAD) of Seventh-day Adventists has unveiled the creation of the “PureBlood...
North American Division
GC Transfers Greenland to North American Division: ‘Better Safe Than Sorry’
The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has announced the transfer of Greenland from the Trans-European Division (TED) to the North American Division (NAD). The...
North American Division
Wilson Sets Up Nominating Committee Of One To Replace Jackson
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Calling North American Division president Dan Jackson, his "brother from another mother," General Conference President Ted Wilson acted quickly as...
North American Division
Report: Jackson’s Shoes Several Sizes Too Big For Most Candidates
COLUMBIA, Md. --- A group of Loma Linda podiatrists has confirmed in a report released minutes ago that the shoes of North American Division...
General Conference
NAD Seizes GC Canoe As Bible Camp Tensions Escalate
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Earlier today, a canoe flying the General Conference flag was seized by a North American Division kayak patrol that claimed...
North American Division
Dan Jackson hit with gag order after being too honest at “Is This Thing On?” Q&A
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- North American Division President Dan Jackson has been formally forbidden from making any public comments on behalf of the church...
North American Division
Dan Jackson kidnapped, held at undisclosed GC location
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- North American Division President Dan Jackson went missing from work today after an early morning meeting.
Initially NAD staff were not...
General Conference
NAD runs away from home, lives in shack
Columbia, Md. --- Earlier today, bleary-eyed leaders of the North American Division of the Seventh-day Adventist Church somberly surveyed a dilapidated structure in Columbia,...
North American Division
General Conference suspends North American Division from decision making for supporting women
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- General Conference leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church have chosen to sanction the North American Division of the church for...
North American Division
North American Division cancels Trump construction contract for new headquarters
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists may be stuck in the General Conference building for longer than anticipated due...
General Conference
North American Division to move into local Dave & Busters
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- North American Division officials have revealed that their offices will be relocated from their present location in the General Conference...