115-year-old Adventist wins gold at World Breakdancing Olympics

The winning routine...
The winning routine…
VENICE BEACH, Calif. — An unlikely athlete took gold at the World Breakdancing Olympics which concluded today.

Gertrude Logan, known simply as G-Lo in breakdancing circles, crushed her competitors despite being a century older than most of them.

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The 115-year-old, third-generation Seventh-day Adventist from Loma Linda put on a dizzying display of spinning acrobatics that left fellow competitors and crowds of fans stunned.

Logan trained for the World Breakdancing Olympics tirelessly, and had a huge group of supporters from Loma Linda, each of whom she had personally convinced that breakdancing was “exercise, not dancing.”

While accepting her gold medal, Logan credited her vegan diet and daily stretch n’ flex classes with keeping her in top “breaking” shape.

Asked what she meant by “stretch n’ flex,” Logan smirked, gave a little wink and then elaborated with two words: “Adventist yoga.”

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  1. richard mills

    That’s nothing. I am on the Olympic team that plays Tiddley Winks with manhole covers. Currently, I am the undisputed US champion in this sport. All come ons are encouraged to challenge me!! See you in you in Rio this week. I will not be in any contests on the Sabbath. woe iz me!!

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