Single Deacon Grateful to be God’s Gift to Humanity

In a revelation that has left his fellow churchgoers both annoyed and amused, 27-year-old Adventist bachelor, Daniel McSingleton, has declared himself to be “God’s gift to humanity” due to his unique Read more […]

Take This Quiz to Test Your Knowledge of Adventist Dating Etiquette

Test your knowledge of Adventist dating etiquette by taking our 10-question quiz: 1) What is the most important question to ask before going on a date with an Adventist? A) “What’s your favorite Read more […]

Eligible Adventist Males Declared Endangered Species

FONTAINEBLEU, France — The International Union for Conservation of Nature has made its first human addition to the list of endangered species: eligible Adventist males. The IUCN said that numbers Read more […]

“Fishing For Men” Single Women’s Ministries Retreat Sells Out

WATFORD, England – A frenzy of activity crashed the servers of the British Union Conference today as tickets for the Single Adventist Women’s Ministries retreat went on sale. The theme for Read more […]

Adventist “Leave Room For The Holy Spirit” Rule Catches On During Coronavirus Outbreak

WORLD — The old school Adventist rule stipulating that people dating each other should “leave room for the Holy Spirit” (keep a healthy distance from each other) has caught on all around the Read more […]

NAD Launches Department Of Adventist Dating

COLUMBIA, Md. — Citing a record number of complaints from single Adventists claiming they have no romantic prospects at their local church, the North American Division recently opened the world’s Read more […]

Loma Linda Blood Test Determines If Couples Are Equally Yoked

BREAKING NEWS LOMA LINDA, Calif. — An interdisciplinary team of researchers at Loma Linda University announced today that they have perfected a blood test that can tell, without a shadow Read more […]

Adventist Church Introduces “Searching Singles Sanctuary Seating”

ADVENTIST WORLD — In an effort to encourage equal yoking, Adventist churches worldwide are introducing Searching Singles Sanctuary Seating. The hope is that like-minded single Adventists will Read more […]

Adventist Church launches “PANIC!” dating app for single members over 30

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Church has launched the latest in a succession of dating apps for faithful members. PANIC! is specifically designed for single members aged 30 and above. “There Read more […]