OBG – Slide Show: What to wear to church

Look what we dug up from the archives!


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In distress over how to dress in ways Adventist? Wipe thy brow, we'll show you how. (*please note: Rules do not apply in Hawaii and certain parts of Southern California, except in churches whose names include an ethnicity and/or Pauline church plant and in congregations where the mean age is 55.)

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    • Theo Cruise

      You have posted these texts before… And they are just as thought provoking as they were before! I would suggest if anyone failed to read this before… Read it now. It rates 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️’S and 3 ‼️

      ThankYOU for re-posting!

  1. George Cooney

    “Rules do not apply in certain parts of Southern California.” Well, which parts? Is there an app for that? I’d hate to show up in flip-flops at a site that requires shoes. But didn’t Moses go barefoot on holy ground?

  2. Hilarious Clinton

    It says men have to wear a tie and suit. It doesn’t say what kind of suit. I will send Bill in a tie and birthday suit. After all, it depends on what the meaning of “is” is.

  3. Li'l Deb

    Remember how God made clothes of fig leaves for Adam and Eve? Well, we should do the same for churchgoers, but modernize it by making the clothes out of Little Debbie® Oatmeal Creme Pies.

  4. Burny Sanders

    According to SNL, I wear pajamas under my suit. That’s why my suit always looks so baggy. And it comes in handy. Remember that BarelyAdventist story a few weeks ago about the long-winded preacher and the sleeping congregation? Well, I just take off the suit, lie down in my pajamas on the pew, and snooze away.

    • Hellary Clinton

      The only thing is, it’s a bit uncomfortable to use a stack of hymnals as a pillow. Sort of like when the patriarch Jacob used a big stone as a pillow. On the other hand, I might learn something, like by putting a book under my pillow.

  5. Krystal Ball

    I am a perfect predictor of the future. Some would call me a prophet.
    Don’t believe it? Look:

    ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Donald Trump will say something divisive or offensive tomorrow.
    ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Ben Carson will say something wacky or weird tomorrow.
    ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Hillary Clinton will say something dubious or insincere tomorrow.
    ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ BarelyAdventist will post something clever or witty tomorrow.

    Just watch and see if I’m not right!

  6. richard mills

    I always wear some type of fashionable clothing each Sabbath. I hope to impress a certain segment of the congregation. I look snappy, creative, colorful, matching coordinates. Once in awhile I leave the price tag visible on purpose to flaunt my wealth & bold choices. My photograph was once posted in a well respected clothing magazine.
    Please invite me to your church and I will show you all how a man needs to dress for the Sabbath services. I read in Joel to rend your garments. I do it!! Woe iz me.

  7. richard mills

    Whoops, wrong version!! I thought it said rent your garments instead of buying. I propose we all go back to the clothing of the Bible. Simple arrangement. One size fits all. Dip in the Jordan once in awhile to wash both body & clothing. Men & women dressed nearly alike, except for Mary who wore a habit. Clothing was made from local resources. Who would want it any other way? Why go against the Biblical methods?

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