SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference leaders are ushering in 2016 with a season of prayer and fasting for a new Adventist prophet in 2016. This time around, however, leaders are specifically requesting a male messenger.
“We would be the first to recognize the prophetic gift of Mrs. White but God could have made the women’s ordination movement a lot easier to crush by blessing us with a male prophet right from the get-go,” said GC Director of Gender Insensitivity, Ole Skull. “Instead we got stuck with the most translated female nonfiction writer of all time.”
Skull assured Adventists that despite the setback of Ellen White’s unfortunate gender, it was “not too late to do damage control for our church” as long as “an assertive and equally prolific male messenger could manifest anytime in 2016.”
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