SILVER SPRING, Md. — Leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church released a scathing rebuke of the denomination’s Nebraska-based Union College this morning. The criticism from the church’s General Conference was issued due to Union’s use of an unusual ingredient in the ultra-Adventist “haystacks” dish.
Union allegedly used the vegetable okra in a giant haystack served to the public at the school’s inaugural Haystack Summit this past Saturday. Members of a visiting delegation from the GC immediately expressed their dismay at the use of the vegetable, accusing Union of “irresponsibly straying from the straight and narrow path” of Adventist tradition.
While admitting that okra was a somewhat unorthodox choice for a haystack ingredient, school administrators said that Union students from Mississippi had sold them on what they called a “delicious addition to this Adventist classic” while stressing that “diversity really adds flavor.”
The GC delegation remained unimpressed: “We made the trip to gather in fellowship with the Union family around the tenets of Adventist faith that define our unique experience: Fritos, black beans, rice, and shredded lettuce,” said GC Director of Culinary Heritage, Uber Bland. “Nowhere in our church manual is the use of okra encouraged or sanctioned.”
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