7 Unspoken Rules Every Adventist Knows (But No One Ever Wrote Down)
1. You can’t just leave after church.
You have to linger in the foyer for 45 minutes of awkward goodbyes and unsolicited health advice before anyone actually exits the building.
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2. Sabbath naps don’t count as laziness.
They’re “resting in the Lord.” Especially if you strategically open a Bible on your lap before dozing off.
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3. If the potluck line moves fast, something’s wrong.
Either there’s no haystacks or the deacon’s kids started serving before the elders said grace.
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4. We say “I’ll pray about it” when we actually mean “absolutely not.”
A polite, sanctified version of ghosting.
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5. Don’t ever say “Amen” too early during the sermon.
That’s how you accidentally get volunteered for children’s story next week.
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6. Adventists have an internal GPS for finding the one other Adventist in the room.
At weddings. Airports. Random cafés. You just know — it’s the veggie vibe and suspiciously wholesome smile.
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7. You can’t sit on the front row unless you’re preaching, playing piano, or under 5 years old.
Everyone else is spiritually allergic to it.
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Your turn: What’s #8?
Drop your best unspoken Adventist rule below — the real ones know.
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