God’s ideal is clear: a loving, faithful, life-giving marriage. For most people. Notice I said most.
Some are genuinely better off single. Scripture affirms this plainly—Paul calls singleness a gift, not a failure (1 Corinthians 7). Others divorce for reasons that are not casual or selfish, but dangerous and soul-crushing.
Yes, Jesus said divorce was only permitted in the case of adultery (Matthew 19). Adventists know this text well. But Adventism has never been a one-verse faith. Scripture must be read in context, with Scripture interpreting Scripture.
And when we do that, one thing becomes clear:
God is not a sadist.
The idea that God wants someone condemned to lifelong misery after a failed marriage contradicts the promise of abundant life (John 10:10). God’s concern is not the appearance of covenant but its substance. Malachi condemns divorce because it exploited the vulnerable—not because God delights in trapping people in destructive relationships. Jesus consistently breaks rigid rule-keeping when rules crush people. Marriage exists for human flourishing, not humans for marriage.
This matters when we turn to Paul.
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is explicitly addressing marriages where one spouse is an unbeliever. If that spouse abandons the marriage, Paul says, “let it be so,” because “the brother or sister is not bound… God has called us to peace.” Paul grounds freedom not in adultery, but in abandonment and the loss of peace. The principle is covenant-breaking, not belief status alone.
This has direct implications for remarriage. Restricting remarriage to a single adultery clause creates unhealthy theology—training people to wait for sin, hope for failure, or remain suspended in grief. Scripture never tells people to organize their lives around another person’s moral collapse.
The Bible also teaches that death ends a marriage covenant (Romans 7:2–3). Yet Scripture treats abandonment, abuse, and covenant destruction as forms of relational death. A covenant can die long before a body does.
Abuse, addiction, coercive control, chronic infidelity, and persistent abandonment are not God’s will. Calling lifelong misery obedience is cruelty dressed up as faithfulness.
Should divorce and remarriage be casual? No. But if you’re here, you’ve prayed, stayed, and tried.
God loves you. God loves your ex-spouse. God still has a future for you.
God is not a sadist.
And we Adventists should stop acting like He is.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
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