Argentine port authorities bust Adventists for smuggling veggie meat into “steak capital”

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina — The largest smuggling scandal in Adventist history erupted yesterday as the Buenos Aires Port Authority charged the Argentine Seventh-day Adventist Church with trafficking Read more […]

First vegetarian Chick-fil-A to open at Southern Adventist University

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In a completely unprecedented innovation, chicken sandwich chain Chick-fil-A has announced plans to open its very first vegetarian restaurant on the campus of Southern Read more […]

Loma Linda supermarkets sell out of veggie burgers, start selling cardboard

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Seventh-day Adventist vegetarians on last-minute runs for 4th of July BBQ supplies have emptied local supermarkets of their veggie burger stocks. Supermarkets all over town Read more […]

Chuck Norris converts to Adventism, turns world vegetarian

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Mere days after famed martial arts action movie star Chuck Norris announced his conversion to Seventh-day Adventism, vegetarianism has spread like wildfire as the diet of Read more […]

Majority of Adventists disagree with Jesus’ stance on eating fish

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Dietetics researchers from Loma Linda University have published a report in which they find more than 70% of Seventh-day Adventists disagree with Jesus’ tendency to eat Read more […]

Gang of nervous turkeys seek gainful employment at General Conference

SILVER SPRING, Md. — A gang of nervous Silver Spring turkeys are hoping to escape the chopping block this year by finding work at the best known vegetarian employer in town: the General Conference Read more […]

Loma Linda: Jesus fed 5000 with five loaves and two veggie fish

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Ever the proponents of healthy vegetarian eating, researchers at Loma Linda Univesity have reached a consensus on their interpretation of Jesus’ miracle of the five loaves Read more […]

Pacific Union College becomes first Adventist school to open a KFC

ANGWIN, Calif. — In an emotional ribbon cutting ceremony, a large crowd of Pacific Union College faculty, staff and even students that had returned to campus early, celebrated the opening of Read more […]

San Antonio mayor declares city meat-free zone during GC Session

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — “I realize this will be an adjustment,” said San Antonio Mayor Ivy Taylor, announcing to local reporters that she was declaring San Antonio a meat-free zone for the period Read more […]

GC San Antonio to feature vegetarian-only preferred seating

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — Event organizers have announced that this summer’ s General Conference Session will feature preferred seating for vegetarians. Floor seating close to the stage in the Read more […]