LINCOLN, Neb. — In a step sure to revolutionize Adventist college recruiting, Union College announced today that transfer students to the school will be placed in the same class as their camp Read more […]
Silver Spring, Md. — A bulk order of discount blackout drapes was installed in every window of the General Conference offices today. The drapes were fitted carefully to prevent world leaders Read more […]
Hi BarelyAdventist Readers, BarelyAdventist usually sticks to satire and humor in these posts but both have been dispensed with this time. Again: THIS IS NOT SATIRE. Some of you probably Read more […]
PORTLAND, Ore. — An Adventist pastor has been terminated after he was caught using the church manual as a door stop. When asked to explain his behavior, Pastor Frank Laughlez of Grace Conditional Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A Master Guide who had earned every Pathfinder honor currently available passed out today while speaking to a large group of club directors in Silver Spring. Dressed Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — An old-boy network is busy packing glass ceiling schematics and immense influence into boxes for a move into the General Conference building later this month. The network Read more […]
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — Local legalist and amateur unicyclist Wudfer Treeze rejoiced in the discovery of a new strip mall at which to practice his balancing act this morning. Treeze was delighted Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md.— In a move that has sent shockwaves of enthusiasm across the world, the Seventh-day Adventist Church has announced its decision to commission Pulitzer, Emmy, Tony, and Grammy Read more […]
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Zach Galifianakis, the comedic actor and host of Comedy Central’s Between Two Ferns has licensed the concept of his brilliantly successful talk show to an Adventist Independent Read more […]
LINCOLN, Neb. — The minute word got out that Union College had issued special edition FriChik cans, orders came pouring in from End Times enthusiasts in mountain cabins everywhere. The FriChik Read more […]
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